So Dan and I met on Bumble, an online dating site. We began texting in the app on October 3, 2021. We couldnt meet for a drink or coffee for so long because I was headed out of town to see my oldest son Alex who lived in NC for a few days.
Dan was different for sure, he called me and talked several times on the phone and we texted a lot for those 9 days before we actually met. One thing I noticed about Dan was he liked connection, just like I did. He would text through out the day and just ask how I was or what I was doing. Connecting throughout the day was pretty rare for a guy - in my experience.
I had dated online - on and off- for 5 years or so. I had a friend teach me tips and tricks of how to date online safely. I often felt very very awkward on dates in that time period, but never unsafe. I had a few relationships in that time period, but I never found the right one.
For our first date we decided to meet in Loveland for a drink. Everything seemed to go wrong. He planned for us to meet at Bishop's Quarter - we got there and the kitchen was under repair and closed for the day. The parking was terrible. Then we went to Ramsey's. We finally sat down and had a drink. Dan was full of surprises. I normally have a list of 22 questions Id ask someone I really liked. Questions like do you like coffee? Do you like live music? Would you go on a cruise? Dan showed up with 23 QUESTIONS. One more than I had, of course. Most were funny questions, a few serious ones. One thing I have noticed about our relationship that is very different that started the moment we met, I have never laughed more with anyone I have ever dated. Ever. And we have laughed until I had tears in my eyes.
When I met Dan I was an adjunct history professor teaching a fulltime load at two separate community colleges. One class I taught was Kentucky History. I told Dan about George Remus, the richest bootlegger during prohibition. Remus lived in Cincinnati in the 1920's. My favorite book "The Great Gatsby" written my F Scott Fitzgerald was based on the life of George Remus. Fitzgerald and Remus would meet in a hotel bar in Louisville called the Seelbach and tell stories. A few months after we started dating, Dan said he wanted to take me somewhere close for a surprise. He wouldnt tell me where. We wound up at the Historic Seelbach where "The Great Gatsby" began. It was magical. I loved the historic hotel. It was amazing. I got to see the bar where Remus and Fitzgerald met and talked. Louisville and it's live music made it very apparent how fun Dan was. He'll try anything once. He's the funnest guy I know.
There are so many wonderful memories over the 3 1/2 years we have been dating, I could write a novel. However, it is not always good times, although there are a lot, we fight too. What I love about our relationship is that we fight fair. Respectfully.
(We've also made it a rule that we are not allowed to talk about the patriarchy if we are drinking Long Island Iced Teas. It's just not a good idea! Ha!)
Early in our relationship I bought some conversation cards that my niece Ashley had on her Bachelorette weekend. I gave them to Dan and we made it a tradition to each pick a card each time we were together. That was one of the best things I ever invested in, you can really get to know someone when you make it a habit of asking them deep questions. Now we have the next set of cards in series.
Dan with my sons amazes me. He has no kids of his own, but he is great with them and a natural. It helps that Dan is crazy about football because my boys all played or play college football and love football as well.
Jack warmed up to him first, Jack is 6'7 and Dan is not. Jack would chide him about how short he was, I was mortified, but Dan assured me he could handle this fine. Jack and Dan love to trade barbs back and forth. I will hear words like "Bigfoot" and "Oaf" and "Midget" and "Shorty" when they are together. But everyone is smiling. . . . so I stay out of it.
When Dan would talk about his mom, it would remind me a lot of my relationship with my oldest Alex. I was a single mom with Alex for 8 years, just me and Alex. The bond was really strong between us when it's you and your kid against the world. Dan's mom was 24 when she had him, and I was 24 when I had Alex. We both ended up being single moms and there were a lot of similarities. I could tell through Dan's stories how very loved he was by his mom. And Alex was my world, and I swear having him, I learned what love really was. Dan and Alex seem to get along as a friends since they have met and that to me is the best.
Zane was a little slower to warm up, They have a lot in common. They love numbers. (Yuck) Dan is a Mechanical Engineer and Zane is studying to be a Mechanical Engineer in college. Dan also got accepted at the University of Dayton after High School, he decided to go elsewhere, but Zane is the one that chose to go to UD. Kind of neat to spend so much time up there with Dan now. Im thankful Dan was patient and not pushy with any of my sons. My boys are pretty friendly and congenial. After Dan and Zane drove up to Indian Lake together to meet the rest of us was all it took. Best thing ever to see the person I love the most and my three sons laughing and conversing together.
Dan and I are so very different in so many ways, opposites even, but in the things that matter most and what is most important I feel we are the same. Honesty, kindness, respect, trust, laughter, courage, adventure and deep love of friends and family. He says he's the lucky one, but I think I am.